Miracle and Other Christmas Stories by Connie Willis

Author:Connie Willis [Willis, Connie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780307573667
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 1999-03-09T21:00:00+00:00

“It’s hardly my idea of fun,” I told Touffét as we were going down for dinner. “I’d much rather be at my sister’s. And I’ll wager Lady Charlotte would rather be, too. It’s obvious why she prefers apes, with a father and a brother like that.”

“The father is a millionaire,” Touffét said thoughtfully. “Is that not so?”

“Billionaire,” I said.

“Ah. I wonder who is it that inherits his estate when he dies? I wonder also what makes Nurse Parchtry stay with such a disagreeable patient?” He rubbed his hands, obviously enjoying himself. “So many mysteries. And perhaps there will be more at dinner.”

There were, the first one being whether Lady Charlotte was even aware it was Christmas. There were no decorations on the table, no holly or pine garlands decking the dining room, and no heat. Leda, who had changed into a fetching little strapless dress, was shivering with cold.

And the dinner was utterly ordinary, no boar’s head, no goose, no turkey, only some underseasoned cod and some overdone beef, all served by D’Artagnan, in new gloves, and Heidi. Hardly a festive holiday feast.

Lady Charlotte didn’t appear to notice. She was well launched on the subject of primate intelligence, apparently grateful that her brother, James, hadn’t come down to dinner. Nurse Parchtry wasn’t there either. Apparently her patient hadn’t gone off to sleep as easily as she’d hoped.

“One of the prejudices we’re working to overcome is that primate behavior is instinctive,” Lady Charlotte said. “We’ve done research that demonstrates conclusively their behavior is intentional. Primates are capable of conscious thought, of planning, and learning from experience, and of having insights.”

Just after the soup course (tinned), Nurse Parchtry hurried in and sat down between Leda and me. She had changed out of her uniform into a gray chiffon thing with floating draperies, and she was all smiles.

“He’s finally asleep,” she said breathlessly, setting a white plastic box on the table. A series of wheezes and gasping noises came from it. “It’s a baby monitor. So I can hear Lord Alastair if he wakes up.”

How nice, I thought. Midway through dinner we shall be treated to a stream of animal screams and obscenities.

“What is it that Lord Alastair suffers from?” I asked.

“Dementia,” she said, “and hatefulness, neither one of which is fatal, unfortunately. He could live for years. Thank you, Heidi,” she said, as the chimpanzee set a plate of fish in front of her. “Isn’t this exciting, Heidi, having Inspector Touffét here?”

Heidi nodded.

“Heidi and I are both mystery fans. We’ve been reading The Case of the Crushed Skull, haven’t we?”

Heidi nodded again and signed something to Nurse Parchtry.

“She says she thinks the vicar did it,” she said. She signed rapidly to Heidi. “I think it was the ex-wife. Which of us is right, Colonel Bridlings?”

Neither, as a matter of fact, though I had to give Heidi credit. I had thought it was the vicar, too. “I don’t want to spoil the ending,” I said, and Heidi bobbed her head in approval.

“He was always a dreadful man,” Nurse Parchtry said, returning to the topic of Lord Alastair.

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